[Photos: Splash News]
I know what you're wondering, looking at this. You're thinking, "I wonder who's texting her." Well, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I can tell you. The computer wizards here at GFY HQ intercepted a series of texts between Whitney and her mother, which I exclusively present to you here:
MAMA PORT: Whitney. Go home and put on some pants. My god.
WHITNEY: What R U talking about? I'm WEARING pants.
MAMA PORT: Those aren't pants. So ashamed right now.
WHITNEY: I bought them @ Bergdorfs. Says "TAP PANTS" right on the box.
MAMA PORT: TAP PANTS ARE UNDERGARMENTS.
MAMA PORT: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR THEM OUTSIDE.
WHITNEY: How can U even C me?
MAMA PORT: Please use complete words when you text me.
WHITNEY: Fine. How can YOU even SEE me?
MAMA PORT: It's called THE INTERNET. Have you SEEN your rear view?
WHITNEY: I don't have eyes in the back of my head, Mom.
MAMA PORT: Find a mirror. I'll wait.